KNOW~ing YOUR WORTh

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This posse holds space for your deepest desires. We will help you transform fear and know your worth!

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Know~ing Your Worth

A topic at the forefront of my mind is the unfortunate fact that women still earn 20% less than men. I am totally pissed off thinking of my hardworking female contemporaries underearning. My immediate reaction is to blame men, society and government for putting us women in this situation. But the self-help junky in me knows better. Rather than blame others for my discomfort, I chose to turn inward. I ask myself, “Why do these statistics make me so angry?” And after coming down, I realized why; my inner voice (aka ~ing) responded, “You’re angry because you too are under earning.” Wow! My ~ing was right on the money. It’s not that others are undervaluing me, it’s that I am undervaluing myself. My anger was the result of not knowing my own worth.

This revelation caught me off guard. For nearly a decade I’d perceived myself as a kick ass businesswoman. I’ve been an entrepreneur since the age of twenty-one, I’ve started several businesses, closed tons of deals, managed my books, paid my taxes,- you name it. With this kind of track record, what gives? Why am I still undervaluing my worth?

I turned to the expert – my dear friend and founder of DailyWorth.com (a personal finance email for women), Amanda Steinberg, in order to help me understand this female issue. According to Amanda, “Women still make 20% less than men because we don't understand our real market value. We often approach jobs and contracts with fear and insecurity, hoping ‘they'll want us,’ and not thinking about the established market value of what we bring to the table.” She continued, “It's more common for a female job candidate to ask what the job pays, rather than walking in the door clear about her own bottom line.”

Recognizing this is the first step to realizing earning parity. The next move is to take action toward significant change. My personal energetic change around money could benefit all women and myself. By shifting my own thoughts and energy around earning, I could become a power of example for women throughout the world. So, I committed to taking the necessary steps towards earning more and loving it.

The first step toward know~ing my worth was the willingness to feel uncomfortable. Most change can cause growing pains. In order to move through them you must be willing to feel whatever comes up. In my case, even the topic of negotiating or raising my rates or spending less made me feel nauseous. I found that as I entered into these conversations, I’d defend my old patterns in efforts to stay safe. But, playing small was no longer an option. I braved through the discomfort and committed to change by welcoming everything that came along with it. The good, the bad and the ugly. I shifted my inner dialogue from, “That doesn’t feel good. Run!” to “Bring it on!”

With the willingness to feel discomfort, I transitioned into the second step towards know~ing my worth: practic~ing. The only way to transform my old patterns was to create new ones. I went into practice mode. Regardless of how uncomfortable I felt, I practiced negotiating every chance I’d get. I negotiated in areas ranging from retail purchases to sponsorship deals. Each time I practiced this new behavior I felt more worthy. Ironically, I enjoyed my practice period. This step helped me transform my fear around negotiating as I settled into a new perception of my worth.

Though things had gotten better I still noticed something funky come up during my practice period. Each time I’d ask for what I wanted, I felt as though I needed to apologize for what I’d asked for by over-talking and justifying my requests. Though it was totally cool that I’d acquired the chutspa to ask, I was still unable to close. Each time I’d overtalk my negotiations, I’d sabotage the deal.

This brings me to my final step to know~ing my worth: clos~ing the deal. This step is all about revving up your belief system. When you believe you’re worthy, others believe you’re worthy. Therefore I tapped into my visualization mediation practice. I’d sit in a ten-minute meditation and imagine myself signing the contract on a massive sponsorship deal. Then, I’d see myself cashing the check. Most importantly, I’d hold the vision long enough to feel worthy. The key to believing is feeling. By holding powerful visions through meditation, I was able to guide myself into a true feeling of worthiness.

With this new belief system in tact, I was ready to close the deal. Now that I walked the walk, I had to learn to stop talking the talk. At closing time, I cashed in for some male advice from my boyfriend, who happens to be a killer negotiator. He said, “When you’re finished asking for what you want, shut up.” Man, is that right! In order to truly own your worth and close a deal, you must learn to be silent. There’s no need for extra talk, backpedaling or further explanation when you know your worth.

I continue to practice these tools daily and have experienced miraculous results. I’ll negotiate with anyone, visualize and ask for more any chance I get. All for the sake of truly know~ing my worth.

For further guidance join Amanda Steinberg and myself on March 25th for our lecture entitled Know~ing Your Worth. Details at: HYPERLINK "http://www.addmoreing.com//speaking" www.addmoreing.com//speaking

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Comment by Tara Tom on Monday: Hello Everyone,

Last night I watched a great movie and just wanted to share it with you. It's called "What the Bleep Do We Know". I'm sure a lot of you have seen it before but in case you haven't its a great documentary. I actually watched it about 6 years ago and was totally confused and was left with a headache after the movie ended. But after being a LOVETARIAN and listening to Gabby it all makes sense now. This documentary proves in science what Gabby is teaching. She truly is Brilliant and I am so grateful she was able translate this great message from the universe in words that I could relate too.

Have a LOVING day!!!!

Tara

www.etsy.com/shop/taratomboutique

Comment by Tara Tom on January 22, 2012 at 8:15pm: Hello everyone. I have just started designing jewelry and have opened an etsy shop. Does anyone have any advice on marketing? I have done the normal social media (twitter, blog, etc.).

Please take a look at my etsy shop and let me know what you think.www.etsy.com/shop/taratomboutique

Comment by Sarah Queen on December 20, 2011 at 10:49am: Hey beautiful ladies,

I've written a super useful exercise to help you review and recalibrate your relationship to money in time for the end of 2011, and it's been featured on the Financially Smitten money therapy website. It's free to access and if you leave comments on the site you're entered into a prize draw, woohoo!

Come check it out here

http://www.financiallysmitten.com/2011/12/20/15-questions-30-minute...

I hope it helps you with your end of year reflecting & seed-planting for 2012!

<3 sarah xo

Comment by Sarah Queen on October 3, 2011 at 7:49am: I've been working through 'Overcoming Underearning' by Barbara Stanny and would recommend it to any of you who feel you should be earning more but aren't - the book helps you uncover your limiting beliefs/habits that are probably sabotaging your attempts to earn more. I'd also say knowledge is power - if the idea of negotiating freaks you out read up on it and even do some role play. xo

Comment by Dee - Love Solutions on September 18, 2011 at 5:40pm: Have you Lost Your Man to another? Steal Him Back! Dee Love Guru Shares Secrets to Get Him Back! Tune in Tues. 4pm PST http://conta.cc/r6s9Ue

Comment by Lindsey on September 17, 2011 at 12:51pm: Goddesses! Happy Saturday :)

I just launched my photography business & wanted to let each one of you know. Will you please take a minute to check Que Bella Photography on facebook? You can like it here:

http://www.facebook.com/quebellaphoto

I just launched my website!!! www.quebellaphoto.com

Thanks you guys!!!

Comment by Zara on September 4, 2011 at 12:52am: Ladies
I'm a single mother going through some stuff. I have 11 year old twins and I’m going through stuff. It’s my job to protect them from my stuff as I go through it and apparently I didn’t hide it very well. They saw my pain anyway. I was folded in my quilt and sad. This evening my daughter said “its ok mommy” “your just a caterpillar in a cocoon right now and soon you will be a butterfly” “soon you will be a beautiful butterfly” “ a purple one with rainbows”... My 11 year old shifted my thinking. A miracle.

~Zara
www.20serenity.com

Comment by Kate Lamie on August 28, 2011 at 1:57pm: Hi ladies, I'm wondering if anyone has any tips about getting my ~ing on as I prepare to ask for a raise at work. I've been listening to Gabby's KYW lecture and working through quite a few feelings meditations. Just curious to see if anyone had success with like a mantra, or practiced anything they thought worked well.

I'm not in any immediate "rush" or dire need for the $, so I've been trying to practice being very grateful for what I have and giving to others. I'm writing 30 days of thank-you letters on my blog to kind of shift my mentality too.

thanks so much for your help xoxo

Comment by Cocoa on August 28, 2011 at 1:56pm: I'm trying to figure out what I'm worth at work - would love advice. I'm taking baby steps - here's my blog about it today http://www.herfuture.com/profiles/blog/list?user=1c35on66h0w9k. How do you ladies start to open a dialog with your boss about getting a raise? How do you get confident about it?

Comment by Goddess on August 21, 2011 at 3:44pm: Knowing your worth is essential some keys in knowing your worth

1. being unapologetic about what you love about and cherish about yourself mind,body, spirit, sexiness, all of it

2. what I call "love boundaries" to respect what feeeels joyful and expansive for you and choose healthy thoughts, people, and places to be with and to put a loving seperation between you and others so you feel your truth and hear their's but not let it creep into your reality esp. if it doesnt resonate or vibe with you.

3. create a self love routine do things that light you up...

xoxo